This is a guide covering the thought habits of people with high self-worth.
We’ll be covering the following topics (click on a bullet point to jump to that section):
What is Self-Worth?
Self-worth is an innate sense of confidence in the universe, a feeling that no matter what everything will be all right in the end, a deep knowing that you are worthy of love and compassion even if you make a mistake.
Self-esteem, on the other hand, relies on our measurement of our abilities based on external successes and failures.
“As a man thinketh, so is he; as a man chooseth, so is he” – Ralph Waldo Emerson
The power of our thoughts to alter our reality cannot be denied. What we think manifests itself in our lives.
So to invite more self-worth in our lives, we have to be open to the idea that we have to change our thought habits.
The confusion between self-worth and self-esteem mostly is the result of a lack of understanding, but oftentimes, it is our insistence upon the latter that leads to overestimation of self-esteem.
Today’s poser lifestyle propagated by YouTube and Instagram celebrities, who pose in front of houses, cars, and material possessions, lead us to believe that happiness is somehow tied to acquiring possessions.
Self-worth is not tied to material success.
Even if you are out on the street, having no job, house, and accomplishments of any sort, still you are worthy of love and compassion.
However, it is also true that success breeds more motivation to succeed and increase in a sense of self-worth.
According to research, success positively correlates with not only an increase in self-esteem but, more importantly, gives you a solid base of self-worth.
Why is Self-Worth Important?
A healthy amount of self-worth makes us emotionally resilient in the face of external circumstances.
It is kind of like having an armor that shields you from the slings and arrows of misfortunes.
Self-worth plays a key role in self-regulation, which can be understood as the cornerstone of emotional resilience, the ability to regulate stress, deal with tragedies and setbacks, and perceive failures as opportunities to learn.
If you have self-worth, you are more likely to take good care of yourself; thinking you are worthy of your own love and deserving of love from others, you will resist behavior that would diminish your worth.
Self-worth also impacts our sense of self-efficacy and self-confidence.
As being externally validated boosts our self-worth, so does having feelings of self-worth make us want to push our boundaries.
Confidence in our abilities will make us strive to improve even more; thereby, producing a virtuous cycle of success.
What Does Self-Worth Feel Like?
Having self-worth fills us with a deeper sense of confidence and trust in ourselves, the process, or universe that reassures us that no matter what happens, it will be all right in the end. That thought alone is liberating.
On a bad day, cheering for yourself can be hard and negative thoughts may be impenetrable during moments of despair, but self-worth reminds us that bad days are normal and good times are fleeting; what is constant is your value as a human.
People with this kind of self-worth are invincible; nothing can come close to harming their peace of mind.
If you have a solid sense of self-worth, you will almost feel oblivious to what people think of you. Self-worth entails self-awareness and self-acceptance.
It is such a deep sense of personal familiarity that other people’s toxic opinions will not matter.
What matters is how you define yourself. This reveals self-worth’s tremendous power of transformation.
Not being defined by externals is truly liberating.
Finally, self-worth will feel like you are safe in who you are that you are willing to expand your boundaries, try out new things, new places, and meet new people without losing the sense of who you are.
Examples of Self-Worth
So how would a person with self-worth act and think?
Here are some scenarios that can be taken as examples of a person with a high sense of self-worth.
- Unshakeable confidence
- Emotional resilience
- Comfortable in your skin
- Ability to say ‘no’ to things in life that don’t value to you as a person
- Not easily manipulated into toxic relationships
12 Thought Habits of People with High Self-Worth
After we have thoroughly understood what self-worth means, let us now explore how we can incorporate thinking that increases self-worth in our lives.
These 12 thought habits will certainly nudge you closer towards valuing yourself a little more.
1. You are not the things you possess
Your material and external possessions don’t extend to you; you cannot hold things to be the representations of yourself.
You may believe that you are the work that you do, the clothes you wear, or the car you drive, but these are not you; they have no bearing on what or who you are.
2. Support yourself when no one will
We all make mistakes. Sometimes our mistakes make us the objects of scorn and ridicule; other people may not want to be associated with you after your blunders.
But people with self-worth are their own cheerleaders first and foremost.
They know that people liking them is temporary.
So they don’t depend on what people say or think about them. Self-worth enables you to get validation from yourself alone.
3. You say ‘no’ more often
People with self-worth recognize that their time is valuable and that they are better off avoiding situations that would be of little value to them.
They are invested in themselves first and foremost.
4. You are realistic about your feelings
Our modern culture has contributed to the belief that we have to feel a certain way all the time.
And if, we are not happy all the time, then something must be wrong.
These people do not accept certain feelings about themselves; they have a hard time coming to grips with the up and down fluctuations of life.
On the other hand, people who have self-worth know that life is full of ups and downs; they acknowledge both good and bad feelings in themselves and move on.
5. You don’t magnify your weaknesses
Sure, we make mistakes. It’s only human to err, right? Yes, but people lacking self-worth tend to magnify their negative thinking about themselves.
And if they don’t put the brakes on it soon enough – through mindfulness and deliberate positive thinking – things get pretty dark soon enough.
If you are a person with self-worth, you know that you have weaknesses as a person, but, at the same time, you don’t lose sight of your strengths.
6. You are in control of your life
Self-worth gives you a sense of control over life.
With a proper amount of self-worth, you will be in control of your emotions, your actions and reactions, and your behavior et cetera.
Having self-worth means that you consider your life your responsibility, and if you are unhappy with where you are in life, you will actively engage in activities to make yourself more in control.
7. You are grounded; humble in success and noble in defeat
Sometimes people confuse having self-worth with narcissism. Nothing could be farther from the truth.
Narcissism is hyped-up feelings of self-centeredness, but self-worth, on the other hand, is not at all about selfish self-aggrandizement.
It is a holistic understanding of yourself based on awareness that you are imperfect, but it is also a courageous acceptance of everything that is you.
8. Self-acceptance is a major part of self-worth
You cannot have self-worth without self-acceptance.
Without accepting your flaws with all your heart, your self-worth will not be rooted in reality.
People with self-worth accept themselves warts and all.
9. Having self-worth means that you trust the process or the universe
People with self-worth don’t feel depressed most of the time because they know that something better is coming their way even if momentarily they lose their job, their relationship, or any possession.
They believe that whatever is meant for them will always find them (without being delusional).
10. You avoid unhealthy competition because you compete with yourself only
Self-worth means that you know no matter how successful you get, there will always be someone out there who will be more successful, more attractive, fitter, wealthier, and better than you are at what you do.
That realization is liberating in the sense that it puts out of an unwinnable rat race and puts you on a healthy track race competition where your only competition is you from yesterday.
11. You are grateful for what you have
Life is a gift. There are so many things in our lives that we should be grateful for every second of the day. People with self-worth are big on gratitude.
Self-worth is not only about valuing yourself, it is also about acknowledging your human flaws, accepting them, and then despite all that being grateful for all the gifts that life has given you.
12. You know the value of your thoughts
“You have power over your mind, not outside events. Realize this, and you will find strength” – Marcus Aurelius
And lastly, people with self-worth will always be cognizant of their thoughts. They will avoid negativity like the plague.
They will check in with their reactions to outside events, identify that these events or circumstances don’t define them as a person, and choose to respond in a dignified manner worthy of a person with self-worth.
Increasing self-worth is not an unachievable goal, but it does take deliberate practice and time.
Our thoughts greatly influence who we are, what we do, and how we perceive ourselves.
So it is only natural and logical to start working on self-worth first at the mental level.
Sikandar is opinionated on a diverse set of topics that include, but are not limited to, Productivity, Health, Fitness, Motivation, and Career. He is in love with the written word and writes mainly to help others on their self-actualizing journeys. A journalist by education, getting to the bottom of things is his modus operandi. Often, he finds himself moonlighting as a life coach to his family, friends, and colleagues. He can be reached at his LinkedIn for collaboration.